it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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