Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
