Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
