GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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