she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
