I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
