Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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