Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
