you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You left your phone here
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