Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
