he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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