Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
