4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
