marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Randomize
