Do you still have your period?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
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