I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
