he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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