so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
