i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
