I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
