this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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