quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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