is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
