my being single is dangerous.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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