well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
