dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
