Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
