Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I wear drunk well.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
