Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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