i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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