I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Terrible idea I love it
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
