Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
