can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
foreskin is a definite game changer
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
