she was so not down for the gang bang
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
