..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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