He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
