this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
