we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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