I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
