Whats the glycemic index on semen?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
