God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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