Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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