What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
