u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
