Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
