this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
