I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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