the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
