Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
