Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
be right there i have to get my cape
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize