WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
