he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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